Dressing Cross
by clueless in seattle
Summary: What do we really know about what Bobby gets up to after dark? It's nine pm and he's getting ready to out for the evening...


_**Disclaimer:**__All of the characters are the property of Dick Wolf. I thank him, the writers, the directors and all the great actors who brought them "to life" for our benefit. Any "liberties" I have taken with them stems from my fond admiration (and a few personal quirks I will seek "help" for)._

_**AN:**__ This story is not set within the accepted "canon" for the characters as it is only officially portrayed by the TV series. So I get to "fool around" with them in ways in which they've never been seen, stretching that to the limit and suspending the "reality" that is "fiction" to start with…now there's a contradiction in terms!!! _

_(And yeah Goren I know the proper word for that is oxymoron…now go take your "happy pills" and find your credit cards…we're going shopping later)_

_**Hmmm…perhaps there are more strange quirks to Bobby's behaviour than we realised until now…**_

**DRESSING CROSS**

"Shit" muttered Bobby Goren as he almost poked himself in the eye with the mascara wand and reached for a wipe to carefully remove the dollop of brown/black.

It was, however, a much better shade for him than the black which gave him a rather _"hard"_ look and no question as he applied it a little more carefully it worked. This brand did give him the _"extra length and thickness"_ the ads promised and perhaps he was lucky as well. Eames always said she envied the length of his lashes, which meant with a quick tweak of the curler there was no need to mess around with false ones.

Bobby blotted the _"peaches and cream"_ gloss on his lips to stop himself licking them it tasted so nice and stepped back. Turning his head side to side in the make up mirror and pulling back the hair of the shoulder length blonde wig. With a short sigh of frustration, he put another fingertip full of _"concealer_" along his jaw line and cursed the way his facial hair grew. Not so much _"five o'clock shadow"_ as 2.30pm most days. _And maybe long term he'd give serious thought to laser treatment?_

He stepped to one side and slipped into the shoes. The four-inch heels gave him height he didn't quite need, but the more he was doing this the easier he was finding them to manage. Not getting the terrible pains in his legs or the sore feet anymore. Though finding red patent leather in a size 13 this season had been a total nightmare. Plenty of black and even blue but he'd always had a yearning for red shoes after seeing the _"Wizard of Oz"_. 

Bobby turned to the full length mirror, not getting the shock at seeing himself he had the first few times. Of course the one thing the heels did was to make a pretty good pair of legs look even better, as he checked out his calves and thighs encased in black silk. Shaving them each day in the shower had become as much routine as shaving his face. And rather like learning to do that in his teens, he'd stopped giving himself sore and unsightly _"nicks"_. Made the few extra minutes it took well worth it as he double-checked the garter belt was secured.

But Bobby frowned as he straightened the neckline of the close fitting, red top. It was kind of low to be trying to get away with just a B cup and with his build _"going a size_ _bigger"_ might look…not just better, but more natural, more in proportion. He'd worry about getting bigger inserts tomorrow and instead grabbed a handful of cotton balls. Stuffing them down his white lace bra, Bobby realised when he looked at himself he should have kept count. Because now he was a C cup one side and more like DD the other. And a rather lumpy DD at that.

He removed some of the cotton from the left side, and then took his breasts in both hands. Cupping them gently and squeezing in a familiar action, or it would be if it wasn't himself he was doing it to. But it achieved the right effect in terms of the shape he wanted, though now they looked unnaturally _"perky"._ Bobby solved that by adjusting his bra straps a little that also meant they cut into his shoulders less. This really was a steep and alien learning curve he was on, finding himself the _"other side"_ of women's underwear and he still couldn't fasten the thing behind his back without feeling he'd put a shoulder out.

Smoothing down the soft leather of the tight skirt did reveal one problem however. A distinctive bulge where one should not be that was something of a _"giveaway"_. Bobby parted his legs and gave everything a shove.

"Ouch" he hissed, realising there was only so much re-arrangement the male anatomy was designed to take and a limit to how much even an _"extra firm control"_ panty girdle could achieve. He should maybe check out other ways of dealing with _"it"_ from those more experienced in these things. But it meant he had no choice but to step out of the new skirt and put back on the pleated one provided a better _"disguise"._

Bobby was rather disappointed, but at least it didn't make his ass look too big and being that bit shorter perhaps made good use of his best asset. What some guy had told him last night were _"legs go all the way up to your ears honey"_ which you had to take as a compliment, even if his next suggestion what Bobby should do with them sounded anatomically impossible without risking a hernia. He dropped the lip-gloss and the powder compact into the small clutch bag and popped it under his arm. Bobby opened the door, squaring his shoulders to make best use of his new C cups.

"Is that a new top Roberta?" asked his friend

"Yes Elaine" Bobby replied as they made for the exit "And I just love that leopard print sheath dress"

"Oh this" shrugged Stabler "Just something I ran up this afternoon on the sewing machine"

Bobby almost dislocated his neck turning to look at the SVU detective. He couldn't help but wonder if this assignment might not be having very strange effects on them both. This was the third new outfit this week Elliot had designed and made for himself.

"Oh at last" muttered Eames checking her watch under the sleeve a pink fake fur jacket "The time it takes you two to get ready its almost time for the shift to end"

Elliot's partner Olivia Benson took her feet off the desk with a slight creak from the thigh high, white boots "I'll drive" she muttered to him.

As the two women walked ahead Elliot hissed to Bobby "Just jealous we got more offers last night than they did"

"Uhuh" Bobby nodded then said softly "Hey Elaine…I mean Elliot…how do you…um…get that dress to sit so smoothly…you know…here" he gestured to his groin

Stabler shrugged "Nothing. Just got my usual shorts underneath"

"Oh" said Bobby concluding whatever problems he was having below the waist they were at least temporary.

"Hey Roberta" said Elaine seductively as they stepped outside "Fancy coming for a drink later? That club up on 72nd?"

"No thanks Stabler" said Bobby striding towards their SUV as fast as four inch red patent heels would allow and reaching in his purse for his gun.

It was time he and Eames had a serious _"discussion"_ about her volunteering them to help out with this _"staffing shortage_" the Vice Squad was experiencing right now…

_**AN:**__ If you'd like to review this story please don't give fashion advice on more suitable colours/garments for Bobby to wear…he'll be very hurt and upset…_


End file.
